Monday, July 11, 2011
King of Hearts.
Beside me lies the heart who has everything, the pieces of me crash and shatter through his mind. If this were any other world I’d choose the bullet over blinds to chip away and make sure the last thing he ever found was the glory of me and mine.
The silence breaks when I discover little things I hate, and this is not me anymore, something seems too wrong, splitting into crazy 8’s and whores and memories gone too long. But I can’t say a word as I lay beside him, I am silenced, like a baby with a pacifier sucking up compliance…and I won’t say a word, ‘cause you have everything, everything and the pieces of me, he has everything, fate and future. Don’t you see it’s so unpleasant, but I must know my place, for he is the king and I am the peasant, he has everything…
And I’m left with nothing but the fate of the world.
Just like a King of Hearts riding out into victory after battles, he is loved, but my stomach is empty while he sits there collecting cattle, the baby shakes Death’s rattle, and I know it’s time to break him off the saddle.
How is the comfort of cold love upon your skin? Tell me how it feels to let yourself be so far-gone within. If I love once more I’ll be the distant breeze, they won’t have anything left to cherish since I gave all my gold to him and sold every cent of me.
He has everything…he has everything but the speck he doesn’t see…strips off the clothes so easily, lowering in the bath to deny his wrath of me. Washing clean the wounds, so it would seem infection is no risk, he’s so very wrong, but I know I could be his protection with a kiss…if only to suck out the venom and take back the anything, nothing, everything of me.
I am poisonous, you see. But he has everything.
I lay beside him, eyes flash open, the good king is awake. And soon again come the words for me to break / crash / crumble / fall / stumble back into my place.
I’m lying here again without a face…and dreams are only dreams when he still has everything…